If your best friend has ever shoved you right into your crush, you have been part of the wingman movement.
They’re at your local bars, clubs, even that hipster coffee shop on the corner. Wingmen walk among average New Yorkers just waiting to volunteer as tribute for a friend in need. She has an ugly friend? Get yourself a wingman. You’re a little shy? You know who to call.
Being a wingman is often a rite of passage into brotherhood. But can having a wingman actually get you a girl? Matchmaking expert Lori Zaslow has the tips to help you wing maneuver your way into a woman’s heart.
Who? A wingman is like a television host. They must be gregarious, charismatic, and full of positive energy. Not everyone can be behind a TV screen, likewise not old friend can be a wingman. A good wingman has to have an unflagging determination to help you score. Whether this means distracting her other friends, interfering when other guys trying to land the same girl, or stepping in during the awkward silences.
Your wingman must also reflect who you are. If your wingman is much more attractive than you are, the girl you’re eyeing might fall for your buddy instead of you. If your wingman is unattractive, then the girls may walk away from him before he even introduces you. It sounds harsh (I know) but in order to have a successful chance you need a wingman who is equally as attractive.
Why? There are many added benefits to utilizing a wingman. Even for the most confident stud, having a wingman is an advantage over going out solo. Women often go out in groups and stick by each other for most of the night. Success during a girls night out can be laborious and often impossible without any backup. A good wingman will take the difficult task of breaking the ice so that by the time you waltz in everyone is in a good mood.
A wingman can help keep the flow of the conversation going by adding parts of a story you may have missed. He or she should also try to make you look good, but in a subtle way. For instance, instead of saying how great of a guy you are, a good wingman would reference a time where you went out of your way to help a friend.
How? Your wingman is there to give a pep talk when needed and ease an introduction, however, the rest is up to you. If you are not confident enough to speak for yourself, you will always miss your chance. Approaching a person for the first time is not always the easiest task. But, by keeping a positive mindset before and during your interaction you can release some of the stress that comes from getting to know someone and enjoy the conversation.
It is easier to approach women when you have a wingman willing to take the loss with you if you get denied – and if you’re dating in NYC, you know this is not a rare occurrence. Having a wingman can only help you get a girl if both of you are confident and cool – it can’t be solely one of you playing the game.
So the answer is yes! The wingman thing still works fellas, you just need to find the right ‘bro’ to take to the bar.
Written by Christina Madera