The Relationship Guide: He’s Just Not that Into You
If you haven’t seen the movie He’s Just Not That Into You, we have all heard the daunting phrase.
The start of relationships can be exciting, nerve-wracking and at times confusing. At first, everything seems to be going really well. Maybe you met him on a night out with your girlfriends and he asked for your number and instantly you felt like “YES! He’s into me!” After a few days and no call, you start to wonder what’s going on. Is he busy? Did he lose my number? Did his phone accidently fall into a toilet? Then the self-doubt hits you. “Maybe it’s me. Is he not into me?”
Despite the optimism given by your friends and family, Here’s how you know that he’s not into you:
- He doesn’t call/text you first
This is relationship 101. If he is never the first one to text or call you, he’s not into it. Sure, it’s okay to text him first every once in a while, but if he’s truly interested he will reciprocate your feelings. - If he does text you, it’s past 11 p.m.
Let’s face it, if he does bother to text you, but it’s not until after 11 p.m. you are 100% a booty call. We’ve all been there whether we like to admit it or not, but recognizing the situation can sometimes be harder than you think. If this is something that you want, go for it. However, if you are expecting to hopefully date this person down the road, he’s no good and he’s certainly no good for you because he’s not interested in forming a relationship off of late night hookups. Drop him like a hot potato because all he’s interested in is getting his and you deserve to find something and someone more worth your while. Don’t settle for being his late night hookup especially if you want more! - Every date you have involves drinking:
Drinking and dating often go hand in hand, but if your guy is only taking you to the local bars when he sees you this is a big red flag. A guy that is truly into a girl wants to take them to dinners, movies, and other fun date nights. If he is only taking you to go get drinks he doesn’t take the relationship seriously. He may just be looking for a good time, but you can count him out for the long haul. - They don’t want to introduce you to their friends or family
Friends and family are a huge aspect to dating and getting to know your significant other. If he is hesitant or just outright doesn’t want to introduce you to his friends or family, then he’s either got something going on personally or yep, you guessed it: he’s just not that into you. If he doesn’t want to introduce you to the most important people in his life, it is a huge telling of the fact that maybe you aren’t one of those “important” people in his life. So, my best advice is if you have been dating someone for a while and haven’t met at least a couple of his friends, it’s time to either have a talk or let the relationship go. - They only compliment you on your physical attributes
This is a big one. If all the guy you’re interested in can do is talk about how hot he thinks you are or what a “killer body” you have, then he clearly both does not know enough about you and quite possibly does not care to know. Often times if the only compliments he can give are about your appearance then conversation probably flat-lines more often than not. What are you supposed to talk about with someone that can’t come up with a compliment better than “wow, I think you’re really pretty”? Drop the shallow guy and go get yourself someone that appreciates you for you and all that you have to offer in a relationship. - “If he acts like he doesn’t give a sh*t, he genuinely doesn’t give a sh*t”
Thank you, He’s Just Not That Into You for this amazing line. There is nothing more true than the fact that guys just do not think about things the same way girls do. They do not over-analyze, they do not sit by the phone and wait for your phone call, and they certainly do not waste their time on someone they aren’t interested in. So, if he acts like he doesn’t care that much, I promise you he doesn’t. Plain and simple.
Identifying if he’s into you is probably the hardest part because the hopefulness inside of us always wants to be optimistic that things will work out. However, in most cases, it just is the way it is. Either he’s into you or he’s not, there usually isn’t an in-between. So, let go of the guys that just can’t get it together to like you for you because chances are they aren’t the ones for you anyway. Don’t waste your time because it’s better spent on someone that will show you their interest off the bat and treat you the way you deserve to be treated.
By: Nicole Hartley