We all know an impossible checklist person. You click on their online dating profile and instead of beginning with a casual introduction, they bombard you with their list of deal-breakers.
- Can’t have too many tattoos
- MUST love dogs
- Part Zebra
- 6 feet tall (no exceptions)
- Needs to know how to pronounce ‘worcestershire’
You see what I’m getting at here.
These kind of people are annoying for many reasons. I could write a list about it but I would hate to be put in the same category as a listomaniac.
Compulsive list makers are successful in the workforce and in the grocery aisle. However, lists are inadequate in dating, especially in the online dating department. The problem is that you just can’t plan out love online like you plan out a To-Do list.
In essence, having an idea of core qualities you would like in a partner is not a terrible thing. For instance, everyone can agree they’re looking for someone funny, smart, and attractive. Three key qualities – just three – and yet with 7 billion people in the world it is still difficult to even find someone who embodies this trinity of characteristics, especially while dating online. Add any more qualities to this list and you’ll have better luck finding Waldo.
Having overly specific “wants” can be equally as bad as having a long list of requirements. Take this list of core qualities for example. If you’re looking for someone funny but with a dry sense of humor, someone smart but who graduated from an Ivy League university, and an attractive face but with a side of six pack abs… Your only option left is James Franco and he is clearly not on match.com! As your lists become longer and more precise, your list of potential online dates shrinks. This is because as you’re being particular about hair color, occupation and music taste, you’re losing many chances to meet great people who just don’t fully meet your impossible idea of “perfect”.
Is your list even for yourself? You rarely know what to order at a restaurant, yet you know exactly what you want in a partner? Try again. If you’re creating this list in hopes of finding someone to impress your parents or to one-up your ex, remember it’s you who is going to end up unhappy and deprived of love.
Bravo matchmaker Jennifer Zucher knows that lists are impractical and promote unrealistic expectations. “Your friends have qualities you like and qualities you dislike, yet you still work great together. Why? Because you enjoy the moments you spend with each other and you don’t dwell on your differences. Honestly, what if your millionaire match is a cat person instead of a dog lover? Is that fraction of their personality enough to disqualify them entirely? You are the reason you’re single. If you’re looking for someone who is 100 percent your perfect match, date yourself! No one on this planet is perfect and if you want a one of a kind love you need to let go of the list and let love lead.”
Written by Christina Madera
Christina Madera is our hilariously bright Business and Communications Intern.
Did you know that Project Soulmate offers professional photo coaching and other management services for your online dating accounts?
Jane Rudes is a Communication Consultant and our Online Division Director at Project Soulmate. Jane is happy to speak with any interested, prospective clients about our online dating services and answer questions about online profiles or other common online dating woes.
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