Written by Elizabeth Hamilton
It happens to the best of us. You’re with your best friend, laughing at a joke they made and something in their smile catches your eye. That person might be your closest confidant, but in that moment it seems like there might be something even more. Is there? Is it something worth risking your friendship over? Most importantly – do they feel the same way?
Here are our tips on what to do when your friend makes your heart skip a beat.
1. Take a breath
You don’t have to make any decisions yet. It’s okay to be unsure or confused!
Sometimes when we’re interested in someone we feel like we need to rush to figure out exactly how we feel, to see how they feel and to share it with the world. We ask ourselves frantically, “Do I really like this person?? Is it just lust? Am I just lonely? What on earth is happening??” – and most stress-inducing, “Do they feel the same way?”
Love – or even like – can turn us into serious overthinkers. Remember that this friend is likely someone you trust, someone who isn’t going anywhere anytime soon. Let your feelings simmer so you don’t rush into anything. And take a deep breath! This isn’t the end of the world.
2. Talk to a(nother) friend
What does your other bestie think?
Our friends often know us better than we know ourselves. If you’re confused and maybe a little freaked, one of your platonic soulmates might be able to shed a little light on what they think is happening. Even if they’re just as clueless as you, talking things through with someone else can feel good. Plus, it doesn’t hurt to remind yourself that you’re very loved by many people! No matter what happens with your potential S/O, you’ve got other friends who have your back.
3. Have a conversation (or don’t)
Are you gonna let things go or heat things up?
Contrary to most of our advice, the solution isn’t always to talk things out immediately. If you’re at the hair-pulling, ugly-crying, angry-journaling stage of stress, then talking things out might be a good idea. Sometimes though, you can know someone well enough to trust that whatever is going to happen will happen. Your best friend is your best friend because you know them and love them well – do you really have no clue how they feel? As cheesy as it is, our guts are usually right about things. Listen to what yours is telling you!
4. Don’t force anything
No matter what happens, make an effort.
If things don’t go the way you’d hoped and you need some time to heal, give yourself that time. But after awhile you might be able to revisit your friendship with them. Remember that they were your friend before they were your crush, your support system before a question mark – you loved them platonically before you loved them romantically. If the two of you can, being friends could be good for both of you.
If things go well, kiss your S/O on the cheek and be happy that you’re with someone who knows you inside and out. You’ve found two beautiful people in one – a friend and a lover.
No matter what happens, you’re gonna be okay! There are many paths to love – most of them are windy and confusing. Have fun and enjoy all the love in your life – whether it’s from your family, friends or pup.