Written by Elizabeth Hamilton and Julia Presten
Boyfriends are weird. There, We said it. The whole “boys have cooties” mentality that dominated preschool might have had a ring of truth to it. But, boyfriends can also be pretty sweet. Here is our list of the Top 5 things a boyfriend can do to show you that he loves you.
1. He’s supportive
Relationships take teamwork, and you and your S/O are co-captains. Whether you have a big presentation at work or you got in a fight with your bestie, your boyfriend should be someone who you can turn to. He can show his support in small (but meaningful) ways like texting you “good luck” before an important meeting.
At the end of the day, your boyfriend needs to be someone who is empathetic, sympathetic and genuinely wants to help make your life better because he cares about you – and you should feel the same way too!
2. He lets you in
Unfortunately, guys are often told just how in touch with their feelings they can be. You’ve probably the type of guy we’re talking about here: sweet but not romantic or outwardly loving, not great at telling you how he feels, he laughs off or ignores serious conversations – my friends half-affectionately call one of my exes “Roboman” because he acted like this.
Ultimately, your bae needs to mature enough to learn how to open up to you. Relationships need mutual trust and support. Guys, if you’re reading this, remember that relationships are a two-way street. Your girlfriend wants to be there for you!
3. He shows you that you’re on his mind
This is one of the most important things on this list. If you and this guy are serious, you’re probably on his mind a fair amount of the time. If he does the little things like text you good morning and good night, gets you flowers for no reason or calls you out of the blue to say he loves you, pat yourself on the back because you’ve got yourself a keeper.
Again, the point of gestures like these isn’t that you’re getting some gift out of being with your boyfriend. It’s that he’s thoughtful enough to show you how much you matter. By the way, your boyfriend deserves to know that he matters to you too.
4. He has his own life (and wants you to have your own, too)
Relationships are awesome. Your boyfriend is (hopefully) awesome. You know what else is awesome? Your friends, career, family and life outside of your sweetheart. Spend quality time with your S/O, but save time for lunches with your coworkers, nights-out with your gal pals and a little R&R time back home with your family.
The dynamic is different for every couple, but you and your boy should share the same expectations. Oh, and if your boyfriend is holding you back? Telling you what to wear or who to go out with? He’s probably not be the one for you.
5. He gets to know your friends
Your friends, your gal pals and your squad have your back. Your boyfriend should too. If he makes an effort to get to know your friends then you know he is in it for the long haul: he cares about the things and people that you care about and wants to know every facet about you and your life. One time my at-the-time boyfriend (bye Sean!) got a friend of mine an Uber home after a night out. Even though it didn’t work out between us, I pretty much died and went to boy-heaven that night.
Did you get all those warm fuzzies when you read that? That’s because the people we surround ourselves with matter to us. When our loved ones get to know each other, it’s just pretty damn cute (and important) for reasons that are hard to explain. Why do we like it when our boyfriends get along with our friends? The same reason why we like videos of two puppies meeting for the first time. It’s just good stuff, man.
Of course, your boyfriend might do all five of these things – and he might not. That doesn’t mean you need to pull your hair out and redownload all ten dating apps you had before you met him. Everybody has their own version of happy. If you’re happy, don’t sweat the small stuff.
Much love from Project Soulmate!