Galentine’s Day, otherwise referred to as Single Awareness Day, when all the single women ban together to tell each other “we are young” and “heartache to heartache we stand”. With the day fast approaching, many single ladies are scrambling to find something, anything, to keep their mind off being, yet again, painstakingly single on Valentine’s Day. Well, never fear, the chart-topping ladies of the 80s are here with a few unique places to spend this year’s Galentine’s Day (and their lips aren’t sealed).
Madonna “made it through the wilderness” at Camp.
Remember those camping trips when you were younger? You’d grab a group of friends, stuff your mom’s minivan, and gossip about boys while kissing the cover of the latest Tiger Beat Magazine and chowing down on double stuffed oreos. Well, the only thing that’s changed is the height of your heels and the direction of your ID. This Valentine’s Day grab your girlfriends and head over to Camp, a Boerum Hill bar resembling an Appalachian summer camp lodge. The bar is equipped with a watering hole, log walls, tree trunk stools, and a full size deer head. Feel free to roast a marshmallow in the fireplace while enjoying a vanilla martini and a giant game of Jenga. Bet you girls “didn’t know how lost you were until” you found Camp to help you “make it through” this Galentine’s Day.
179 Smith St. Brooklyn (718-852-8086, camp-brooklyn.com)
Spend the night in the Fish Bowl when “the tide is high, but you’re holding on”.
I hate to carry on with the bad news but you’re single and, surprise, Galentine’s Day is in the middle of winter. In other words, summer is a long ways away. However, “the tide is high” at the Fish Bowl as drinks steadily roll in and out of the bar. Located in the Dream Midtown hotel, the chic new Fish Bowl creates summertime vibes similar to a day on the boardwalk complete with two mini bowling alleys, arcade games, and Skee-ball machines. The 2,500 square foot lounge is equipped with a private photo booth, a rotating stage, and a two-story aquarium alive with exotic fish. Even though bikinis are optional at the Fish Bowl, the umbrella drinks are not, making this “your number one” summertime lounge this winter.
Dream Midtown, 210 W 55th St. (646-756-2077, fishbowlnyc.com)
“Sweet Dreams (Are Made of…” The Brooklyn Chocolate Takedown)
The Brooklyn Chocolate Takedown is the place to be this Galentine’s Day, and “who am I to disagree”? You’ve “traveled the world and the seven seas” looking for the perfect Galentine’s day activity and here it is. Head down to Brooklyn to experience The Takedown where you can indulge your taste buds with chocolate creations ranging from hot cocoa to ice cream cake and everything in between. “Everybody’s looking for something”, but every single woman comes here for one thing; that tall, dark, and hand-held cup of decadent hot chocolate. Use the Brooklyn Chocolate Takedown to forget about that someone who used you. This place wants to be abused.
February 14. Royal Palms Shuffleboard Club, 514 Union St, Brooklyn (347-223-4410, thetakedowns.com). Noon-2pm; $20.
You’re a hissing cockroach. “Don’t you mess around with me!”
Roses are red, violets are blue, name a cockroach after your ex at the Bronx Zoo! So he called you insane? Big deal. Show that “heartbreaker, dream maker, love-taker” just how sane you are this Galentine’s Day. Grab some single friends and head over to the Bronx Zoo. Not only does the zoo house over 6,000 animals from 650 different species in over 265 acres of park lands and habitats, this year there giving ladies, and gentlemen, the ultimate stint at revenge. For just $10 you can name a hissing cockroach after your ex. If you’re a big spender, $15 can even get you a printed certificate validating your insanity. Your ex probably is a hissing cockroach, and this Galentine’s Day you can prove it with a hiss.
2300 Southern Blvd, Bronx, NY 10460
“Girls just wanna have fun(ds)”.
“Oh mother dear we’re not the fortunate ones, and girls just wanna have” FUNDS. Being single on Valentine’s Day isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Look at it as a day you don’t have to spend next month’s mortgage on dinner and chocolate. Celebrate Galentine’s Day with a “30 Going On 13 Girls Night In” Galentine’s Day party. Be prepared for your girlfriends with a giant no boys allowed pillow fort. Rent last year’s hit Fifty Shades of Grey, pour out your boy tears (cheap wine), and order yourself a heart shaped pizza because tonight is all about the ladies. “Some boys take a beautiful girl and hide her away from the rest of the world”, but you’ll be the “one to walk in the sun” as you head to Duane Reade in the morning to splurge on all the Valentine’s Day candy sales. See, being single on Valentine’s day really isn’t so terrible.
Your super cute, no-boys-allowed king sized bed made for the queen herself.
Special thanks to our favorite 80s ladies for providing the lyrical inspiration:
Like a Virgin – Madonna
The Tide is High – Blondie
Sweet Dreams (Are Made of These) – Eurythmics
Heartbreaker – Pat Benatar
Girls Just Wanna Have Fun – Cyndi Lauper
Written by: Hana Gilbert