In the midst of this 21st century world of dating in New York and marriages, it seems so common for people to break-up or get divorced. But why? I’ve been trying to figure out why this seems to happen so frequently now a days because 1. It’s interesting, and 2. I want to avoid it happening to me! So I thought it would be cool for the relationship experts over at Project Soulmate to see how three different generations would answer this simple question: What are five things that make a successful marriage?
I asked this question to my sister who has recently been married, to my mother who has been married to my dad for 27 years, and to my grandma who was married to my grandpa for 57 years until his passing. Now I’m not saying any of them are relationship experts, but they’ve definitely got some experience under their belt. I was not sure what kind of responses I would get, if they’d be identical or drastically different, but I thought that either way it could give some insight into the difficult world of marriage. So here are their answers, word for word. Check them out and see what you think; I mean I might’ve just hacked the secret for a long-lasting marriage…
Celeste – 26 Years Old, Newlywed
- Communication
- Doing things together, but also having alone time
- Supporting one another’s goals
- Being able to make the other laugh, like singing “fireflies” by Owl City
- SEX
Tara – 54 Years Old, Married for 27 Years and Counting
- Take Care of yourself/stay in shape/exercise; and if you are a stay at home mom, still fix your hair and put on your makeup
- Send gifts/flowers etc. to his work or place of business, just because, not because you are apologizing for something
- Have time separate from each other – encourage guy trips/girl trips with friends
- When it comes to household finances get and stay on the same page
- Sit down to dinner together whenever possible… Even if it means eating at odd times
- Always have time for him, ask yourself; “If my best friend form high school walked in the door, would I be too tired
to do something with her?”
to do something with her?”Marietta – 79 Years Old, Married for 57 Years
- Have to be agreeable when raising your children, when you punish them and everything
- Considerate of each other, not selfish
- Have to love each other
- Willing to wait on them, to take care of them in sickness or in health
- Go to church together
After going through their answers, they did seem to be very different, but also had some general things that matched. For example, they all agree that communication is very important, whether it is about finances or raising kids, you and your hubby/wifey need to communicate and be on the same page. Another one that stuck out most to me, was how important it is to make time for one another, and to definitely not be selfish when it comes to your relationship. It might seem ridiculous, and there’s clearly no science behind it, but I think these tips could be really useful. If nothing else, I can assure you that these people, no matter how long it’s been, are still very in love; so that’s enough science for me!
The first thing on your agenda, though, is finding the guy/girl to even consider for marriage. And Project Soulmate knows just how to find them!!
Emily Stovall