Winter is the season for relationships, it’s cold out and all you want to do is snuggle with the one you love. Old relationships especially seem to flourish around this time, since the drive to stay in is doubled by the temperature dropping. Similarly, new relationships bloom, with most craving the warmth of a new love to replace the warmth of the summer nights. On top of that, it’s holiday season and no one wants to face the extended family without some back-up. That’s why there always seems to be a spike in new relationships as soon as the winter solstice hits; however, this also means that these new relationships are about to go through the ringer. Bringing a new romance to meet your family tends, to say the least, be intimidating. What if my parents don’t like them? What if they don’t like my parents? It’s one of the hardest challenges of a relationship, and if Ben Stiller could barely figure it out in Meet the Parents then how can anyone face the family. Well, actually, it’s not that bad, and usually parents are going to support you as long as they think you are happy and healthy. But before the meeting takes place, we need to ask ourselves the most important question… is it even the right time to introduce your loved one to your family?
This is a seriously hard question to answer, especially when you are so enamoured with your newly found loved one. Maybe your love is blinded by the fact that you really wanted someone to spend these months inside with, it’s called cuffing season for a reason. Plus, what if introducing them to your parents kills a potential beautiful relationship. The classic I’m-scared-we-are-moving-too-fast situation exists because it happens, proposing to meet your parents too soon in a budding romance can scare even the most experienced dater. So when do we know it’s the right time to bring your love interest home, and how do we go about asking them to join you this holiday; well, here at Project Soulmate we have consulted with our Professional Matchmakers and have some advice for you, just in time for Thanksgiving.
Is it too early to Ask?
This is the first question you should be asking yourself, and the one that takes the most consideration. Why is this question so important? Well, people get cold feet, and meeting the family usually means getting serious; so for those who don;t want to move too fast this question can be terrifying. You feel so close with this new lover, and you don’t want to disrespect by not even asking, but what happens if they react horribly and run away screaming. That’s why it’s important to keep these three questions in mind before you even attempt to ask. And yes some might seem obvious, but if you forget even the simplest of questions you can be left feeling like you made a terrible mistake:
- Have we been together long enough that they would even want to come to my hometown with me?
- Do they already have plans with their family?
- Would they be comfortable around my family, or do you know them well enough to know if they are ready for this commitment?
With these three things in mind, you need to weight asking them with how comfortable your family would be with you bringing your new lover around. Maybe they answer yes to all three questions, and you know they would be respectful and excited to come home with you, but if your parents aren’t ready for your new relationship, maybe hold out. Obviously, your parents want what is best for you, and so does the rest of your family. However, sometimes bringing home a boyfriend of one month back home can be viewed as disrespectful or maybe too uncomfortable for your family. Remember how your family reacts to guests and especially relationships when choosing whether or not to ask them to spend some intimate time back in your hometown.
How do you ask them to Spend the Holidays with You?
Ok, now that you have decided you are going to ask them, how exactly do you go about asking. Its not like you can text them “hey, how’s it going, wanna spend thanksgiving with my family?” I mean you can, but I wouldn’t suggest it. Obviously the preferred way is face-to-face, where you can gauge their reaction and decide whether or not they are actually comfortable meeting your family. Seeing their initial reaction will reveal a lot, where as if you send that text you’ll probably hear just what they think you want to hear, and not their actual feelings. This is important, if they seem taken aback by your suggestion, then you can easily calm them down and tell them they don’t have to commit, just an idea. If they seem elated, great, then you genuinely know it’s a good time to bring them to meet the family. Also, I would suggest bringing this up over dinner; not, for example, during morning coffee or after watching a movie. You don’t want to catch your loved one off guard with an intimate question, that would make anyone anxious.
If you decide to bring your partner home for Thanksgiving, just know you aren’t alone in worrying about the first impressions. But when you and your soulmate make it through the holiday season together, your relationship will come out the other end stronger. We at Project Soulmate wish you the best Thanksgiving, and hope that you have a great holiday season.